Life is a rollercoaster
Just got to ride it. Ah! The words of Ronan Keating - how very true.
Bit of a rollercoaster going on here at the moment. One minute up on the crest of the wave because I've got a few things sorted, the next plunging into the depths of despair because the sheer volume of what's left to do overwhelms me like a tsunami.
There were tears this morning when I sat and thought about it. I can't believe the impact this course has had on my life. I spend most of my time apologising - for not being able to take part in anything, for failing to fulfil even the smallest of motherly duties, for singlemindedly ignoring everything and everyone around me. So.. all day I'm saying sorry, which is really bad for my self-esteem - having to apologise for being me, and doing what I want and need to do, somehow makes what I'm trying to achieve seem less, or not worthy. But the worst thing is that I'm such a total bitch to live with. Stress makes me a really horrible person and everyone around me is suffering too.
It's Saturday morning - I've only done two sketches, my model photomontages are not montages at all, they're still just photos of the model, and I'm struggling with photoshop which I've decided should be banned from decent society. All I want to do is lie down in a dark room. And as for the planting plan.....pah!
Here are a few pictures of the model:
Here is my current best (and only) friend in my house. My moose (who has no name) has been very helpful in making my model. He doesn't mind standing around until the glue dries, and listens to me moaning and muttering about life. He just sits patiently with a wry smile on his face. I love him.
OK, that's enough blogging for now, I'm going to carry on with all the other stuff. Hope you're all ok out there in blogland - see you all on Monday.
Bit of a rollercoaster going on here at the moment. One minute up on the crest of the wave because I've got a few things sorted, the next plunging into the depths of despair because the sheer volume of what's left to do overwhelms me like a tsunami.
There were tears this morning when I sat and thought about it. I can't believe the impact this course has had on my life. I spend most of my time apologising - for not being able to take part in anything, for failing to fulfil even the smallest of motherly duties, for singlemindedly ignoring everything and everyone around me. So.. all day I'm saying sorry, which is really bad for my self-esteem - having to apologise for being me, and doing what I want and need to do, somehow makes what I'm trying to achieve seem less, or not worthy. But the worst thing is that I'm such a total bitch to live with. Stress makes me a really horrible person and everyone around me is suffering too.
It's Saturday morning - I've only done two sketches, my model photomontages are not montages at all, they're still just photos of the model, and I'm struggling with photoshop which I've decided should be banned from decent society. All I want to do is lie down in a dark room. And as for the planting plan.....pah!
Here are a few pictures of the model:
Here is my current best (and only) friend in my house. My moose (who has no name) has been very helpful in making my model. He doesn't mind standing around until the glue dries, and listens to me moaning and muttering about life. He just sits patiently with a wry smile on his face. I love him.
OK, that's enough blogging for now, I'm going to carry on with all the other stuff. Hope you're all ok out there in blogland - see you all on Monday.
posted by Jackie Edwards at 10:07 am
1 Comments:
Cat's right Jackie - hang in there -we are all difficult to live with at present. I also have a moose, called Moose, which gets lots of hugs when I feel really miserable (so currently all of the time!!) Its all coming together and looking great. Keep up the good work.
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